Hips Don’t Lie, And Other Evolutionary Reasons You’re Falling In Love

It’s all in the hips. Actually, for heterosexual men at least, it’s all in the waist-to-hip ratio.

In the time of our ancestors, there was no such thing as falling in love. You didn’t choose a mate because he made you laugh, or she was a great cook, or his puppy dog eyes melted your heart. Choosing a mate was a simple thought, and it went something like this: “Dang girl, you look fertile. And if we have offspring, they’ll probably survive in the wild and pass on my DNA pretty well.” Boom. Instant soulmates.

hey girl, tryna hunter-gather and chill?
hey girl, tryna hunter-gather and chill?

And even though we’ve evolved into hearts and flowers, it’s not because humans are becoming more “emotionally aware,” oh no. Sorry to burst your bubble, but it’s still all about that bass.

According to Huffington Post’s Why Do People Fall In Love, we fall in love for one of the following reasons:

  • Political Parallelism- you vote the same
  • Measurements (Women)- you look fertile, girl
  • Chivalry- he’ll protect you and your potential young
  • Your Symmetrical Face- again, hot spouse=potentially hot offspring=survival of the fittest…er…hottest
  • Your Postal Code- easier to mate with people close to you. Duh.
  • Your Age- if you’ve heard of menopause and Viagra, you know why this is important
  • Your Dope Genetics- see “your symmetrical face” and other traits needed to survive in the wild
your waist can be thick as long as your hips are thicker (but you're beautiful as you are, so it's chill)
your waist can be thick as long as your hips are thicker (but you’re beautiful as you are, so it’s chill)

However, HowStuffWorks article Why do we fall in love? takes a slightly less Darwinistic approach.

It simply states we fall in love because we want to feel like we matter to someone. This is not groundbreaking information. Everyone wants to feel like they are valued, and that someone thinks they’re pretty even after they’ve been sobbing over One Tree Hill for thirty minutes (although, let’s face it, no one is hot with snot running down their red, blotchy, Kim-K-cry-face).

Image taken from Pinterest
Image taken from Pinterest

Finally, Business Insider takes both sides and lists 20 Reasons People Fall In Love, but here are some of my favorites:

  1. You and the person are mega similar
  2. They look like your parent (Hello, Oedipus)
  3. The tone of your voice (womens’ voices get lower when they’re attracted to someone, while mens’ get higher. This one I didn’t know, so that’s cool)
  4. You stare at them (creepy, but apparently it’s a thing)
  5. You warm them up. COFFEE DATES AREN’T SLICK ANYMORE, KIDS.
  6. You hated them when you first met them (I feel this one so hard)
  7. If they are less or equally as attractive as you (apparently hot people like dating uglier people more??????)

And so, with that being said, just remember: if he’s not calling back IT’S NOT YOU…it’s evolution. (;

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